


Hold On To Me (‘Cause I’m A Little Unsteady)

by Starrstruck_64



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Codependency, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, M/M, Overdosing, POV Multiple, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Pseudo-Incest, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, Toxic Behaviors, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starrstruck_64/pseuds/Starrstruck_64
Summary: “I really wish you’d actually stick to sobriety past that first chip,” Ben grumbles from his perch on the fire escape watching as Klaus trades the chip and a crumpled handful of bills for a little baggie containing three purple pills.Klaus waits until Randy leaves down the alley before answering. He’s spent 30 days at some run of the mill clinic on Allison’s dime and the only thing it’s helped him achieve is a clear enough head to remember which dealer carried the best shit. “I really wish you’d stop fucking lecturing Bentacles, you’re not my mother,” he grins emptying the bag into his mouth.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Past Eudora Patches/Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 4
Kudos: 108





	Hold On To Me (‘Cause I’m A Little Unsteady)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darkflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkflame/gifts).



> A belated birthday gift to Yana, I’m such trash at deadlines.

“I really wish you’d actually stick to sobriety past that first chip,” Ben grumbles from his perch on the fire escape watching as Klaus trades the chip and a crumpled handful of bills for a little baggie containing three purple pills.

Klaus waits until Randy leaves down the alley before answering. He’s spent 30 days at some run of the mill clinic on Allison’s dime and the only thing it’s helped him achieve is a clear enough head to remember which dealer carried the best shit. “I really wish you’d stop fucking lecturing Bentacles, you’re not my mother,” he grins emptying the bag into his mouth. 

Ben keeps his eyes trained on Klaus and frowns when he realizes that once again he’s been ignored. He could easily leave, move on past the veil, except that’s all bullshit because he would never actually leave Klaus. It doesn’t matter that he thinks his brother may be throwing his life away in favor of pills and booze, Ben can’t leave; he loves him.

“Yea well we don’t always get what we want so we,” Ben grumbles trying to ignore that sinking feeling knowing Klaus doesn’t care that he hates this.

“Self-pity isn’t a good look on you Ben,” Klaus slurs, which Ben finds weird because Klaus can handle his narcotics better than most and he’s left wondering what the hell were in those purple pills.

Ben has a retort on the top of his tongue but it falls to the wayside when Klaus teeters sideways into the brick wall before crumpling in a heap. He’ll be damned if this is how Klaus goes out and without a second thought Ben is moving forward trying to get help. He really fucking hates Patrick Swayze because this ghost shit is harder than dragging a penny up a wall.

Klaus groans and Ben feels a surge of hope fill him; he’s alive.

“Hey...stay with me buddy, please...I’m going to fix this.” Klaus’ eyes look glassy in the dimmed light of the alley, his skin is pale and clammy, and distantly Ben knows this is what an overdose looks like. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do to help and he’s panicking.

“Ben...?” Klaus sounds like he gargled glass his voice sounds so rough and that spark of hope is wavering quickly.

“Yea I’m here...you need to work with me Klaus...I can’t do this alone...”

Klaus groans in response, he’s trembling and curling in on himself, and just when Ben thinks it can’t possibly get worse, he throws up and passes out cold.

*~*~*~*

Diego was settling in for a quiet night, it wasn’t like he wanted to forgo patrolling the city, but after his fight with Lewis and the bruising he’d suffered around the ribs it was more a necessity that he try and get some modicum of rest. Figuring that he ought to make the best out of a bad situation, he’d even splurged for take out from the little Thai restaurant two blocks down.

It figures that the one night Diego would pencil in for himself that nothing would go according to plan. No sooner had he laid out his meal was there a knock at his door. Hand poised on one of his knives, Diego moved closer to the door trying to suss out who could possibly be looking for him.

“You throw another one of those knives and I’m evicting you,” Al’s gruff voice cut through Diego’s thoughts and he relaxed somewhat as he opened the door. “I’m not your damn secretary,” the older man grumbled handing over a scrap of paper, a name and address haphazardly scrawled across the page.

Diego frowned slightly, there were only two people who knew where he lived and he didn’t like the thought of either calling him. Leaving a message meant it was important and chances were either it was Eudora upset he’d crashed another crime scene, or worse it was Klaus which left options as mundane as needing bail to that terrible last call he’s been hoping he’ll never receive from the city morgue.

Klaus’ name is at the top of the page and underlined. Diego feels his stomach drop because he recognizes the address; Mercy General Hospital. This is it, he knows it in his bones, this is the call that might break him.

“When did this come in,” Diego asked trying to keep the worry from his voice.

“Eh...15 minutes? 20 tops,” Al shrugs. “Sounded pretty serious, but then anything laced with medical jargon sounds like a nightmare.”

Diego doesn’t wait to hear anymore, just grabs for his keys hanging on the wall as he sidesteps Al to head to the back alley where he’s parked. Anything can happen in 20 minutes when you’re at the hospital.

He ignores the protest his ribs give from the jarring movements of running downstairs. The bruises will heal, he’s got more important things to worry about than his comfort. It’s with that final bough that he makes it to his best up car, fumbling with the lock he doesn’t waste anymore time before he tears down the street en route to the hospital.

He arrives just under ten minutes, he shudders to think of how many moving violations he racked up on the way over, but it’s a distant worry. At the forefront his mind is focused on Klaus; is he alive, is he okay, or is this an identify the body type of call?

He’s got himself so worked up by the time he reaches the nurses station his stutter for the first time in years is in full swing. It’s frustrating that years of control can fly out the window when it comes to Klaus; he just knows how to get under his skin.

“K-k-Klaus Hargreeves...I n-n-ne....is he okay..? I...I got a call,” Diego clarifies when the only response he gets is an arched eyebrow.

“Oh you must be Diego, if you’ll please take a seat I can alert the doctor you’ve arrived.”

“Please....I...he...he’s alive right?” And Diego hates how broken he sounds in that moment but he can’t help it, he’s slowly losing his mind with the uncertainty.

The nurse seems to take pity on him because she nods slowly, “he’s in stable condition, the doctor will be here shortly to fill you in with the rest of the details.”

Diego knows when he’s being dismissed so he leaves the station to take a seat in the waiting room. He feels like one long line of tension pulled taut is running from his head to his toes, but the news that Klaus is stable loosens the coil ever so slightly. They’d said he was stable now which means he came in uncertain; Diego isn’t stupid he knows that most likely means it’s that nasty drug habit but he can’t really bring himself to care. He’s too focused on the fact that Klaus is still alive; it has to mean something if he’s been given another chance.

When the doctor arrives Diego feels like he’s going to explode. Stable should be good, should set his mind at ease, but Diego knows if it was drugs they flushed his system and if that’s the case when Klaus wakes up he’s not going to be prepared for the ghosts that undoubtedly walk the halls. Diego would rather Klaus never touch another substance again, but he knows Klaus self-medicates to dampen his powers. As sober as he wants Klaus he wants him to feel safe and sane too and that won’t happen if he’s thrown into a ghostly situation unprepared.

“H-how is he?”

Diego listens as Dr. Milton fills him in on Klaus’ arrival and what’s been done. They’d given him a narcane solution to flush his system, but Klaus had been in and out of consciousness and kept asking for a ‘Deedee’ and mumbling about the pain to a Ben.

Diego’s heart clenches painfully at the mention of Ben. Klaus had already been dabbling in weed and drink before Ben died, but the second their brother was gone Klaus had gone off the deep end. It had shattered everyone but Klaus had taken it harder than most. The fact that in this state he was asking for Ben made Diego ache in a way that he couldn’t even fathom putting into words. Fuck, he missed Ben too but if he started thinking about him and the fact that Klaus still called for him he’d be useless when he finally was allowed to see his brother.

“Can I see him? P-please...i need to see him.”

Dr. Milton nods slowly, offering a sympathetic smile, “he’s going to be okay...though you might want to think about checking him into a clinic. I can have the nurses provide you with some pamphlets.”

Diego just nods, it’s he same old song and dance. He’s seen Klaus through more rehab clinics and withdrawals than he can count. It always ends the same way, he’s sober until he isn’t and then Diego is left scrambling trying to make rent after Klaus has made off with his modest savings. And he’ll do it again until he’s blue in the face for the off chance this time it might stick.

Standing in front of room 246 Diego has a moment of panic grip him that Klaus wouldn’t want to see him. The last time they’d spoken had been months ago, it hadn’t been pretty. He’d been angry, called Klaus a selfish prick only caring about the next high instead of those he hurt along the way. Normally Diego was fine to push away those moments Klaus crashed through his life as the drugs speaking but this last time he’d gone too far; Klaus had made off with not only his cash but Eudora’s family earrings. They’d been on thin ice for weeks but Klaus’ sticky fingers had been the last stray. 

Eudora left the next day with a promise it was final. She’d said it wasn’t healthy the way he fell for Klaus’ antics every time regardless of how many times he was hurt in the process. That one of these days Klaus would push too much and she didn’t want to be there for that. Diego might be able to wipe Klaus’ slate clean without a second thought but she didn’t share the same unwavering belief Diego had in his brother. He was a junkie by definition and not one that wanted to get better.

In his heart Diego knows Eudora is probably right, but that’s his brother. He loves him, probably more than is right, but he doesn’t care. Klaus had kept him as his emergency contact for a reason, and maybe he’s putting too much stock in what might amount to Klaus truthfully forgetting to change the name, but it’s all he has to go on right now so he clings to the fact like a life line.

Swallowing nervously Diego reaches for the door handle and takes the final step inside.

*~*~*~*

Klaus is laying in a dreadfully uncomfortable bed with a slew of cords attached to him while a series of machines beeping around him. Ben is leaning against the wall opposite him looking worried and it makes Klaus frown. If he’s got even the dead worrying for him he must be in bad shape.

Groaning as he moves to push himself up he draws Ben’s attention and it’s a double edge sword. Ben’s features flit through a rush of emotions from hope to anger before settling on some mixture of annoyed relief.

Klaus has an icebreaker on the top of his tongue but it dies when the door opens up and Diego walks in. There’s a brief moment where Klaus wonders if maybe he did die and this is a shitty excuse for Heaven because after last time he didn’t think he would ever see Diego again. He was convinced he’d burned his most trustworthy bridge, but Diego is here, standing in his hospital room looking shaken, and Klaus allows a flicker of hope to blossom in his chest. 

“They said you flatlined,” Diego murmurs, voice rough as he takes those final steps to reach the chair by klaus’s bed.

Klaus nods wetting his lips, “yea...on the ride over...gave me a shot of adrenaline, electric stuff.”

Diego looks like that same scared teen from the academy sat in the plastic chair by the bed and it breaks Klaus’ heart. It’s intoxicating in a sense to have someone care about his wellbeing to the point the mere thought of something bad happening to him brings them anguish. But this is Diego, for all his gruff exterior and sharpened edges Klaus knows for a fact that he’s soft to his core. He’s hurt Diego more times than he can remember, the fact that there’s still worry ether on his brother’s features just tastes like ash; he doesn’t deserve that unconditional devotion.

“Klaus I...” Diego starts and stops the sentence multiple times, Browns furrowing slightly when he can’t get his tongue to cooperate. “What happened?”

It’s a daunting question. Klaus isn’t quite sure he can answer it, not the way he knows Diego wants. It’s the same shit that always happens. He gets low, he seeks help, he gets clean and then he topples off the wagon in spectacular fashion; rinse and repeat until the day they can’t bring him back.

Instead Klaus offers a lopsided smile and slight shrug, “oh you know, same dance different song.”

“You’re a dick,” Ben cuts in moving off the wall to stand on the other side of Klaus’ bed just opposite Diego. “You know how he feels about you but do you ever stop and think about what you shit does to him?”

The thing is Klaus does know how Diego feels. Has known since they were children and barely knew what the word love even meant. But he also knows himself, and he’s bad news for Diego plain and simple. Reginald used to say he was a poison, ruining everything he touched with his selfishness. Diego deserves someone good, someone who won’t leave him picking up the pieces of his heart for the umpteenth time. 

The thing is he knows he’s terrible for Diego, will hurt him one of these days in a way that Diego won’t recover from, but he can’t just walk away forever. He’s aware of how Diego feels because he feels it too. He’s loved Diego since he was a teen and finally realized those butterflies didn’t happen between family members. But he loved Ben too and he hadn’t been enough to save him. He hadn’t been the one to kill Ben but he feels the prick of disappointment every time he looks at Ben these days. He can’t promise sobriety, most days he just wants to take enough pills that the haunting voices stop forever, and he’s already disappointed one brother he doesn’t think he can handle doing that to another.

Diego has always had faith in him, no matter how misguided, and yes he knows there’s a chance at love and stability but he can’t take the chance. He knows it’s not a matter of if but when he will fuck up and he really doesn’t think he can handle hurting Diego to the point of losing him forever.

Like this he can still keep Diego in his life. And he knows it’s not fair to either of them, it’s selfish pure and simple, but he never believed he was the good brother. 

“I thought you died,” Diego murmurs voice wavering slightly as he focuses on his hands. 

Klaus feels like there’s a vice on his heart and between Diego hunched figure and Ben’s judgmental stance, he feels like he can’t breathe. He doesn’t deserve people caring about his pitiful excuse of a life.

“I’m still here,” he starts, voice scratchy as he clears his throat. “I’m not dead yet, Gogo.”

“How comforting, you should apply for hallmark,” Ben retorts the same time Diego’s head snaps up with a pained expression.

“Don’t...don’t joke like that” Diego looks haunted as he leans closer, fingers reaching out unsure if he’s allowed to touch. “Please...you can’t joke like that Klaus.”

Klaus nods slowly, not trusting his voice right now. He feels like crap, he knows Ben is right. Diego loves him, lord knows why, and he should be thankful instead of testing that love. One of these days Diego will wake up and realize he’s a lost cause, and the thought of that happening while he’s still alive scares the crap out of Klaus.

“Yea...I’m sorry...didn’t mean it,” Klaus murmurs reaching out to wind his fingers with Diego, because sometimes people need a glimpse of hope even if it’s mostly talk.

Diego relaxes visibly in his seat when Klaus’ hand finds his. His thumb brushes over Klaus’ knuckles and for a moment everything seems calm. He starts in on a plan for getting Klaus some help, it’s obvious he’s put some thought into it which is why it makes Klaus’ insides twist in guilt.

Klaus let’s Diego talk to him about clinics, stays quiet through it all, from the proposal Klaus move in, that they’ll get through it together. Diego is the type that still has allusions of fairytale ending, and while Klaus knows the reality of tragic endings he’s not that much of an asshole to shatter his brother’s world, so he stays quiet.

Klaus knows with almost absolute uncertainty that this will only be a temporary fix. He’s bound to lapse again it’s just a matter of when. Still, it feels good to listen to Diego talk about the future like he has a chance at something happy. 

“Klaus take him up on the offer,” Ben pleads. “He wants to help but you need to meet halfway for this to work.”

It’s a fruitless effort that will probably end with multiple parties hurt, but there’s a small part of Klaus that wants to try; so he squeezes Diego’s hand and says ‘okay’.


End file.
